"...But healing is also a matter of opportunity"
When I read this quote a few months back I was comforted by how true it feels for me, but agreed not to share it because I recall how un-true it feels to someone who is hurting so deeply.
When we’re stuck, we can KNOW something like this quote is true, but if it doesn’t FEEL true then there is a disconnect preventing breakthrough and it’s probably not your fault.
When I was stuck and read an inspirational quote, I didn’t know why this would happen but my internal dialogue would begin to criticize the concept with thoughts like, “TIME hasn’t healed that thing from 17 years ago so don’t tell me about time healing things!” or “I took my OPPORTUNITY with that therapist and I left feeling even worse.”
Now I know that feelings are processed as facts so because I didn’t have personal proof or evidence that “time” or “opportunity” were a solution for healing, it didn’t matter what I knew. What I FELT, was complete and utter hopelessness for healing and eventually I’d quit trying to find a solution and die under the weight.
The term, “healing process” sounds too “simple”. What I actually experienced for over three years was actually a complete obliteration of my destructive belief patterns and life as I knew it, and a rebuilding of something and someone who I had never known before. It felt fragile.
I can confirm today without a doubt that healing can most definitely a matter of time - BUT - also a matter of opportunity. But how you care for yourself and others within that time is absolutely pertinent to that time providing any amount of healing. Maybe you haven’t had an opportunity that felt safe to accept, and that’s okay, you do now. You just have to decide if it’s safe to change, and if you’re ready to take an opportunity. And EVEN IF it doesn’t feel safe to change, that’s okay too. Just take this OPPORTUNITY and I’ll help you work out the fear. Because YOU are valuable. YOU are worth the time, and YOU are stronger and more capable of letting go and becoming the person you have known you were meant to be all along. Need more convincing? Here’s some fun science stuff so let me explain. When you become stressed, the part of your brain that holds onto trauma (your amygdala) is lit up causing your fight or flight response to kick in. When this happens, your stress hormone cortisol spikes and your blood leaves your brain to flow to your appendages so that you can run or hide from a lion that’s trying to kill you. Yep. I said it. Stay with me.
That’s what happening when you walk into a crowded room and feel anxious, when your boss emails you with a concern, or when your partner disappoints you. You might KNOW you’re safe, but something in your body says otherwise and you might want to run, hide, freeze, or EAT! Your brain doesn’t know the difference between an actual threat, or the memory of a threat, so when when you recall an old painful memory, or something in your surroundings tells your subconscious you aren’t safe, you’re flooded. No brain juice in your brain, and no ability to think clearly which is why we react from this stressed place instead of being able to respond calmly. Really, think of a time this happens to you, you probably actually act like a child in those moments because most traumatic memories happened as a child-so that’s where we naturally go when we don’t feel safe.
EFT/Tapping may look silly at first, but so did yo-yo’s and cell phones. We actually have access through our skin to access our energy meridians without the needles required in acupuncture. When we gently tap on these meridian end points, it sends an electromagnetic signal to our brain that calms our stress hormone-some people showed an 80% drop in their stress hormone while doing this! Once that calming signal is sent, the blood is able to flow back into our brain, allowing us to access the stressful situation or memory, without the jolt to run or hide.
Even though this helped break me free emotionally and made my life, and family and even God come back into true view again, and even though I work with clients everyday who have breakthroughs that take my breath away, it’s still hard to believe that something so seemingly silly and simple could tackle such a wide range of emotions, but it does, and it’s truly, and completely a gift. So here's what I believe is your very best opportunity-I dare you to consider that you’re worth it.