I’m stuck, and it feels messy.
It’s 3:30 AM in South Carolina where I’m husband and I landed last night. I’m sure we’re still on CA time, but I would really like to change with the time so that I can visit and function efficiently.
I finally got out of bed aware that I’m better off awake than I am tossing. I wanted to share a quick transparent thought with you and realized I was feeling bound by Instagram’s word limit. I used to write A LOT when I was younger. Now I don’t and when I do, I feel restricted, I feel fear of judgment, I feel concerned my voice won’t be heard or understood. I feel a lot of things. And know a lot of things... and as I teach you... feelings are facts. We can know whatever we want, but it won’t dictate our choices or actions, our FEELINGS will. So what’s my point... I know to share, to be me, to write, to connect, even if only one person is encouraged.
I also know that when my neck begins to ache the way it has been, it’s not physical, it’s very, VERY emotional. I‘m aware of the secular emotional roots to disease, aware of the Spiritual Roots to disease (which are almost identical by the way) and I understand to some extend the physiology of our body and that we are mind, body & spirit and it requires all three to be tended to for us to be, WHOLE.
As the pain in my neck and head have persisted over the last few days, I’m challenged myself to care for my own self the way that I would for you. I’ve asked myself what my body really needs. I’ve tapped, I’ve given myself rest and time. I read a book (I never read actual whole books). I even left home for an adventure with my husband who by the grace of God (truly!) is my very bet friend and I couldn’t be more excited to travel across country with him. The reason is to move my dad back with us, but Mike has a way of making everything more fun. He protects me, loves me, inspires me, educates me, and motivates me. He is totally and completely a resting place for me-I have NO friction with my husband-sheer joy to be on this half work, half fun trip with him.
So why’s does my head hurt? Why does my neck hurt? Why do I feel STUCK? So I’ve asked myself this question, I’ve spent